She's JV to your varsity
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
home. puking in laundry basket.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
