The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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