well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
