these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
