At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize