I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
