Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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