At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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