The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
