If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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