Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
