I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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