She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
