I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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