ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
