The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
