So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
