There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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