she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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