so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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