i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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