Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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