that's an acceptable place to lick
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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