i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
