Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
