so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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