its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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