ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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