32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
