Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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