mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize