then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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