I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
