so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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