You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
