I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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