Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry eweaver hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

I want to make a zoo with you.

Fav 5 1739 858
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

Fav 20 825 2909
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

(407): View more from Florida

given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

(352): View more from Florida

i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

Fav 41 3649 1474
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

Fav 57 4445 1177
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly

Fav 19 1754 5887
share tweet
(319): View more from Iowa

My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.

Fav 12 9066 1270
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.

Fav 4 2536 890
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.

Fav 0 549 649
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???

Fav 0 31 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT