$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
