the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize