hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
