The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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