we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
