forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
