you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
