why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize