i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
