singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i will never coherently bang her
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
