I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
