it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I looked at my own cervix.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
