If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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