I wanna passion pit in your ass
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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