Already got asked if we're dating
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
