how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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