That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
