I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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