How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
