Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
