a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
