You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
