4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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