Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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