I don't usually arrange sex via text message
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
