i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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