Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
