so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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